Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Christina's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, July 8th, 2009
4:28 pm	winning some and losing some my van passed. but dustin's car did not. we won bid v2.0 on a rather nice house. we paid the earnest money. now we have to figure out how to get dustin's car emissions-retest ready, while simultaneously paying for a house inspection. we'll be talking to the loan officer sometime this weekend, probably. i'm happy we're over the first hurdle, but as i was telling cass, turning in the earnest money is just the beginning of a life-eating slog that will hopefully culminate in moving in. so please excuse me for not popping champagne corks yet. wow, it's raining like whoa. (! x 6 | ?)
Tuesday, July 7th, 2009
1:39 pm	i'm at the emissions inspection place on their thoughtfully provided computer with internet access, praying really hard that my van passes the inspection. they just pulled up in the van. *girds loins* (?)
Thursday, July 2nd, 2009
7:41 pm	we got pre-approved for a mortgage, and went and looked at a few houses last weekend. we even found one we liked well enough to bid on (we're buying through hud), and were outbid. the tiny sliver of silver lining is that our bid was the next highest bid, so if the winner's contract falls through, our bid is up next. we're not going to sit around and wait on that, though. i put in my notice at gwinnett daily post today. my last day is monday, july 13th. yes, it's a full month earlier than i was originally intending, but dustin convinced me to just go ahead and do it. and really, i was ready to be convinced. i'm tired of the whole merry-go-round, and really our lives between now and the end of the year will be full enough without trying to work around my work schedule, too. my well-fed north-american privilege-- let me show you it. (! x 2 | ?)
Wednesday, June 17th, 2009
11:35 am	breaking it down, thinking out loud i'm quitting gwinnett daily post. the major parties affected by my decision are also ready for me to quit-- possibly just waiting for me to realize that quitting would be in everyone's best interest. what can i say? the slowest boat still makes it to shore eventually. i don't love my job-- not that i hate it, but still. it's easy and low-stress, but it's also boring and tedious. it's also the same desk-jockey, phone-bitch work i swore off when i quit vagabond back in 2004. at least when i took it up again working at pax when i was pregnant with keric, the job there was interesting and challenging. if i'm going to turn my life into a fruitbasket turnover to work a job, i'd really rather look forward to going in every day, or at least not dread it. gdp doesn't pay all that much. it pays little enough that dustin can make up the shortfall by working 2 or 3 extra shifts per month. once i got our finances in order, i kept my budgeting goal of using my checks solely for savings and childcare (and walkaround money), but dustin can make up the savings without us shelling out for childcare. i had originally gotten the job in order to take some of the burden of saving up money off of dustin, but since then, he's gotten a raise, and we realized that the hassle of him losing sleep to watch the boys while i work (among other things) was actually more than the hassle of him just pulling a few extra shifts. i *could* find a job where i'd make more money, but we'd still run up against dustin's unforgiving schedule (6pm to 6am, 4 days on, 3 days off, 3 days on, 4 days off, on a 20 week cycle). at this point in our lives, having more than one adult working outside the home is just a huge pain in the ass. i'd really like to get some sanity and order and sleep back in my life. as it is, the boys get two days home with me, two or three days over at cass's while i work, and two or three days home with dustin while i work. it's too little time in any one place or with any one person to get a real routine going, so we're all just putting out fires and making sure no one starves or is maimed on our respective watches, and really that's no fun for anyone. i take time for myself when i should be sleeping, dustin and i don't see each other all that much, the friendship between cass and me is being submerged by our provider-client relationship, and the ultimate pay-off is really not worth all that. it's time for me to let it go. august 12th will be my one year anniversary. i'll be putting my notice in at the end of july. (! x 14 | ?)
Sunday, June 14th, 2009
12:33 am	because we all REALLY needed to know that "gwinnett daily post. this is christina... okay, can i have your address, please?... and what's the name on the account?... yeah, i don't know why the carrier missed you today, but i'll have someone bring a paper out to you... i'll make sure i let the manager know... have a good day... goodbye." "...and what dates did you want the paper stopped?... okay, i have it set up for you... have a good day... goodbye." "...and what card did you want to use to pay for your subscription today?... okay, i'll get this submitted to our accounting department. thank you! goodbye." and then there was the lady who told me all about how she was going in for a d&c next week, but she was going to have to be put under for it, so she needed to get a stress test done on her heart first, but it was really nice the way they did it now because she doesn't have to get on a treadmill like she did last time before they removed her gall bladder, and they have to inject a dye in you and you just sit there doing nothing for FOUR HOURS, but, hey, it's better than getting up on a treadmill, and she had to deal with a sick yorkie at the same time this week, but fortunately she has a friend that will dog-sit for her while she's out of town and she really didn't want to take up any more of my time, but thanked me for listening. i learn something new every day, i suppose. (! x 4 | ?)
Thursday, June 11th, 2009
8:49 pm	oh, internet, how i love thee-- in the past two days, this presentation (via not_hothead_yet) by a brain scientist about having a stroke moved me to tears, while this article featuring my friend sarah (isarma) made me cheer, and heather's post on dooce.com made me want to throw things because no one appreciates being called stupid, and this video (via karnythia) made me laugh my ass off, because they're twi-hards, and what's not to laugh about with die-hard "twilight" fans? (! x 2 | ?)
Thursday, May 28th, 2009
11:07 pm	so i've been nudged. i'm doing okay and not so okay. the grind is grinding, and it's starting to tell on me. our savings for the house are almost, but not quite, on target for where i budgeted them to be. we're living pretty close to the bone, but not any worse than we were before i really *owned* the title cfo in our house. before, i tried to pretend that i could do this finances thing half-way, and we paid for it with an embarrassing amount of overdraft fees. now, i'm being an adult about it, and while money is still tight, we're slowly but surely getting ahead. on some days that feels good, and on some days it just makes me tired. we're pretty sure we have an agent lined up for when we're ready to start looking. she didn't bat an eye when i told her our price range (unlike some other agents i felt out before her), and immediately set me up on her website, with listings of potential houses coming directly to my email. so on that front, there's really nothing else to do but take things one day at a time. i'm not getting enough sleep. i'm staying up way too late, probably in some childish attempt to keep tomorrow (and all the grind that goes with it) from happening. i fool myself into thinking that i'm just grabbing my alone time when i can, but all i'm really doing is playing word games on facebook in an effort to convince myself that i'm not as brain-dead as i feel. i'm feeling gray and fragile, like an old sheet that's been bleached too many times. one tug in the wrong direction, and i'll fall apart. so i'm tired all the time, and making up for it by eating all the time. the emotional eating is getting out of control. i'm popping out of all my pants, i'm too tired to exercise, and worst of all, i'm just so disappointed with myself. where's the girl who got up an hour early to do yoga every day? oh yeah, she faded away sometime in 2004. where's the girl who tag-teamed with the husband to go swimming three days a week? huh-- last seen in august 2008. so i'm working on getting reacquainted with eating when i'm actually hungry, and not just when i feel like eating, and hoping a solution for getting my body moving again falls out of the sky. cuz gawd knows that everything i've tried so far hasn't worked worth a crap. i wish i knew why i can't pull it together. and still, some things do make me smile. like remembering that on this day, at this time, two years ago, i was hugely pregnant, three weeks overdue, cranky, weepy, and determined to get some sleep, contractions or no. i was rewarded with a baby 12ish hours later. :-) happy birthday, keric! (! x 7 | ?)
Tuesday, April 7th, 2009
8:54 pm	so, um, ignore the previous radio silence, 'kay? two links that caught my attention today: derailing for dummies. "A simple step-by-step guide to derailing awkward conversations by dismissing and trivialising your opposition's perspective and experience." more comprehensive than a bingo-card and just as snarky. yum! lost generation. a cleverly done little video with an inspiring message. enjoy! (! x 1 | ?)
Friday, March 6th, 2009
4:17 pm	interview with séan, 4 years 4 months i think i may revisit this in six months or so, since so many of his answers were "i don't know". not sure if that's a reflection of how much/little we communicate, or how well he understood the questions, or what, but it would be interesting to compare his answers down the line. also, séan insisted on typing with me on the last few questions. i left in his contributions for the record. :-) ( séan's interview ) (! x 9 | ?)
Friday, February 27th, 2009
6:38 pm	best theme song ever "peep and the big wide world" Well, it's a sunny day I feel brand new There's about a million things That I could do! Whoa-oh-oh Would you like to Do them, too? Yeah Well, it's a big wide world And it's waiting for me and you! Let's look around What will we see? Round every corner, a discovery! Whoa-oh-oh There's no place I'd rather be! Oh, yeah Well, it's a big wide world And it's waiting for me and you! i think i'm going to make this my personal anthem. and, yes, i'm happy that taj mahal will be inducted into the blues hall of fame. (! x 2 | ?)
Wednesday, February 11th, 2009
7:03 pm	[séan's running around riding on his stick-horse, then trips over his feet and falls, dropping the stick-horse.] séan: oh no, mommy! my horsey is dead, my horsey is dead! me: oh no! what're you gonna do?? séan: i'm gonna give him a band-aid! (! x 11 | ?)
Sunday, February 8th, 2009
12:08 pm	long post is long spring makes me crazy. starting from way back in my teens, i'd say about 90% of the inspired, crazy, weird, or life-threatening things i've done has happened in the spring. this year, i caught myself looking at two- and four-year college degrees, and daydreaming about how i'd juggle that, plus child-care, plus working a part-time job to save for a house that we absolutely must buy this year. i found myself wondering if full-time institutional day-care for keric would be such a bad thing, and if putting séan in school for a year or two would seriously derail my intentions for homeschooling. and then i went to work yesterday, and as i drove home i noticed how warm and hopeful the afternoon air was, how clear and bright the sky was, and *ding*. i realized that, of course i'm thinking these pie-in-the-sky thoughts-- spring is coming! i'm a text-book example of spring fever. i don't actually have a real interest in going back to school for a formal degree. not at this point in my life anyway. but it was an interesting thought experiment, all the same. so that was yesterday. working backwards, we filed our taxes last week, and we're looking for our refund to arrive this coming week. we'll be paying off dustin's car with it, fulfilling a couple of other nagging obligations, and that should hopefully help us keep on track for the Great House Hunt. (which, by the way, has been put off until the end of this year, rather than this summer. preparing for home ownership is no joke, yo.) i'm working on night-weaning keric, and except for a couple of rough nights, he's been adapting well to it. thank goodness, because i was almost at the point of beating him over the head with my breasts whenever he asked to nurse at night, when the logical portion of my brain said, "uh, couldn't you just wean him, instead?" genius! hopefully, by the time he's two or so, i'll move him and séan to sleep full-time in the other bedroom. (i have to catch myself to stop referring to it as "séan's room", because really, it's not, even though séan has had the lion's share of the use of it so far.) séan will be fine with that, i'm sure, because he currently starts out his nights there more often than not, and greets the morning in there most of the time when he does. when we buy our house, there will definitely be enough space for the boys to have their separate rooms, but i expect they'll want to share a room for some time to come-- they're both awfully young. we'll wing it. my birthday was awesome, even though i was recovering from being sick. i had my birthday massage, and the mt was *awesome*. good strong touch, and she really worked my hips and butt amazingly. i made sure to get her card and leave her a good tip. amber and her kids surprised me by making the trip down from blue ridge for my birthday. i was so thoroughly not expecting them to make the trip (it *is* a two hour drive), that when they did show up at dustin's parents' house (rick and shirley, of course, were in on the whole thing-- i was embarrassingly oblivious), my first thought was, "hey, cool! i get to see them after all! i wonder why they came down?" *blush* so, yeah. dustin's parents took us all out to dinner at longhorn steakhouse, where i got my amaretto sour. (i was forced to. dustin said i had to.) and the day after my birthday, cass and i had a girls evening out-- dinner (at the cheesecake factory) and a movie ("the tale of despereaux"). it was my first movie in a theater since before keric was born, and keric is now 20 months old. oh! and dustin got me a stand-mixer for my birthday! am i allowed to call a stand-mixer sexy? well, mine is. kitchen-aid artisan, 5-quart bowl, onyx black-- i'm in lurve. and it's probably obscene how often i'm using it. and the illnesses. oh, the illnesses. only recently have i been able to breathe normally through my nose-- i haven't been able to since, oh, possibly thanksgiving. no, seriously. there were stretches of days where i sounded like a cartoon character at work, "theck you for callick the gwiddett daily post. this is christeeda," because my nose was completely stopped up. there were also stretches of days where i had absolutely no sense of smell/taste. i can't remember the last time that happened, and it really, truly sucked. there were also stretches of days when my snoring drove dustin, that master of the buzzsaw, out of the bedroom in search of more peaceful sleep. and i lost my voice for a few days. and then there was the stomach bug. no vomiting or diarrhea, but i couldn't swallow so much as a sip of water without intense abdominal pain, so i didn't eat or drink for 48 hours. recovering from that and the resulting dehydration was slow and painful. i still have a lingering cough. and that was just me. everyone else had various illnesses to deal with, too. dustin's currently on antibiotics for a sinus infection, and the doctor also diagnosed the flu. keric just recently recovered from a stomach bug that *did* include diarrhea and vomiting, which he caught from cass's little girl, who apparently caught it from candace's little girl... *sigh* keric is so recently recovered that he's still passing bright yellow breast-milk poop (you know, the kind that blows out of damn near everything?), since breastmilk was all he was ingesting for the two days he was sick. séan is relatively unscathed, though he's holding on to a runny nose, as is keric. can i say that i've filled my quota and then some for effluvia for winter 2008/2009? because, damn. new year's eve was nice and low-key. we spent it at cass's house, as we have for the past few years. there were lots of toddlers there, which was nice. we all just watched the babies play until they fell over, rang in and toasted the new year, hung out and talked and played on the ps2(?), and went home. my kind of evening. and of course, dustin and i marked the 8th anniversary of the day that we met with a big, juicy kiss in cass's kitchen. one of these years we'll do something more special, but it's not the season for that yet, and that's okay. christmas (yeah, i'm going there because-- have you seen my journal lately?!) was spent in blue ridge at amber's fabulous new house. we travelled up on christmas eve after i got off work, and travelled back home christmas night because i had to work the day after christmas. dustin's parents arrived christmas day. on christmas eve, antonio treated us to an amazing "feast of the seven fishes", a traditional christmas eve meal in his very italian family that is all seafood. i, of course, couldn't have any of the shellfish because of my allergy, but i most certainly did *not* feel deprived. i rolled into my bed that night. christmas day dinner was just as decadent. yum. a few days before christmas, an old friend from high school came into town from albuquerque to visit her parents, and we got together to hang out for an evening. that was definitely a fun blast from the past. before that, the last major thing to happen was thanksgiving, and i already wrote about that, so i guess we're pretty much up to date! a couple of random tidbits-- you know how a little while ago i was crowing about how i saved *so* much money by switching car insurance companies? well, when we renewed our lease on this apartment in december, our rent went up. of course. only $40, so it's not eating all of the amount we were saving, but when we found out about the increase, i just laughed to myself and shook my head. isn't that always the way? also, i mentioned that keric is 20 months old now. he's just the age that séan was when i got pregnant with keric. now i know-- know!-- that 2.5 years is not the spacing that i want between keric and kid3. it was problematic between séan and keric, and would be even more so now. but try telling my uterus that. that's all i'm saying. a picture post will be happening next probably. lots of cuteness to share. (! x 12 | ?)
Saturday, January 31st, 2009
11:05 pm	my life for the past 3.5 weeks, condensed "i'd write a post, but it's much too late." "DAMMIT-- someone's sick again." wash. rinse. repeat. ad nauseam. i'm off to bed. good night. (! x 1 | ?)
Wednesday, January 7th, 2009
10:03 am	i'm feeling well enough to notice just how badly i stink. it's a start. and not a moment too soon, because dustin has to work tonight, so it's all me, come what may. Current Mood: stinky (! x 3 | ?)
1:45 am	i've spent approximately 30 of the past 33 hours laying in bed, wishing that the bugger that keeps stabbing a spike into the base of my skull would just go the fuck away already. and wishing that there was some liquid wet enough to make me and my throat friends again. really, really hot lemon zinger tea sometimes does the trick. i'm going to go lay down again. (! x 4 | ?)
Friday, December 19th, 2008
11:05 pm	i just desperately contacted some friends on aim to ask them to call my cell-phone because keric had hidden it from me. not in the toilet, thank goodness. séan cut a chunk out of his hair while i wasn't looking. fortunately, he has so much hair that you'd have to know where to look to see where the carnage happened. my little angels. gawd, i need sleep. (! x 12 | ?)
Sunday, November 30th, 2008
11:01 pm	this park? is next door to my apartment complex. i've waited for almost two years for it to open. two years! when we first moved in, i looked up public parks in my area and found, to my annoyance, that the two or three closest parks to me were equally distant and equally inconvenient to get to. i also saw that plans were in place for a park walking distance from my home, with an anticipated opening date of "late 2008 or early 2009". i counted down the days. i squee-ed with happiness when the bulldozers finally came and tore up my street and ransacked the flow of traffic for weeks. i found excuses to cruise by the site as often as i could to see the progress that was being made. i cursed every day that it rained and stopped the work (but not too much-- we're in a drought, after all). i called the parks and recreation department more than once to get a firm opening date. and i cheered when a banner announcing the opening date was finally hung on the brand-new fencing. when i told dustin that the ribbon-cutting ceremony was on tuesday morning, he said, "i guess i know where you'll be, then!" and now, i guess, you guys know, too. :-) seriously, though. there are few things more absurd about suburban living than *driving* to get to a public park. i swear, when we finally start house-hunting for real, i'm going to do my damnedest to get a place within walking distance of a park. driving to get to a place to go run around is ridiculous. (! x 7 | ?)
Saturday, November 29th, 2008
1:19 pm	thanksgiving week on monday, i left work early, and used the kid-free moment to get an eye exam and get new glasses. i had used my last pair of contact lenses several weeks ago, and really needed *something* to get me through the next few days. i decided on glasses rather than contacts because i've been without a back-up pair of glasses for over a decade, and figured it was now time to be an adult about it. after taking care of that, i picked up the boys from cass's and took them in for check-ups with the family doctor. both are healthy, happy, and growing well, and i have a referral for a speech therapist for séan. monday night, i spent the evening laundering and packing. i finally fell into bed at midnight. tuesday morning, at 3am, dustin called from work to let me know he was on his way home. i groaned, sighed, and rolled out of bed to get dressed and finish packing. when dustin got home, things went into full swing as we got the boys ready to go, loaded up the van, and finally drove away-- destination, pennsylvania-- at 7am. i spent the first couple of hours of the trip curled up in the back of the van, trying desperately to catch up on sleep while pretending to be luggage. after a while, i took a turn at the wheel, while dustin pretended to be luggage. we arrived at (maternal) uncle and aunt's house thirteen hours later with a minimum of fuss. séan and keric took the trip well. wednesday morning, at 10am, dustin left with his cousins to formally say goodbye to grandma messner and lay her to rest. i stayed behind with the boys to let them continue to burn off pent-up road trip energy. dustin came back afterwards, to pick us up for the family luncheon at the town fire station. there, we met up with dustin's parents, and amber and her family (who came from visiting with antonio's family three hours away in another part of the state), and the rest of dustin's *huge* family. grandma messner had eight children, six (i believe) of whom had children, and many of those had children of their own. the hall was *full*. after the luncheon, amber and her family, and dustin and i and our kids, all met up with (paternal) uncle and his nine-year-old daughter at hershey's chocolate world. dustin and i had already experienced chocolate world with a 19-month-old séan back in 2006, but of course we had to let keric see the singing cows and dancing chocolate bars for himself. and (paternal) uncle very generously treated us to lots and lots of hershey's swag. after we'd had enough of the chocolate world experience, amber and her family made the three hour drive back to antonio's family to celebrate thanksgiving, and dustin and i took the boys back to (maternal) uncle and aunt's house for some badly needed sleep. thanksgiving day, at 2pm, we loaded the kids up in the van and made the one-tenth-mile trip down the road from (maternal) uncle's house to (maternal) aunt's farm to have thanksgiving dinnerlunch with her, her husband, and dustin's parents. at 6pm, we loaded the kids up in the van and made the half-hour trip to (paternal) uncle's house to have thanksgiving dinner with him and his family, dustin's parents, and his other two brothers and *their* families. séan and keric had a blast playing with their (first) cousins (once-removed). it was a loud, happy, testoterone-filled evening. consider: dustin's dad has three brothers. all of them had children, totalling six sons and two daughters. of those eight descendants who've had children, the running total so far is four sons and two daughters. whew! i still stubbornly hold out hope that kid3 will be a girl, though. :-) the only downside to the evening was that dustin's grandfather was ill, so he stayed home and so grandma stayed home to take care of him. on friday morning, at 10am, we loaded up the kids in the van and headed back south. we finally got home at 2:30 saturday morning. i fell into bed at 3am, only to wake up at 7am to get ready for work. i came home at noon to a living room full of luggage and whatnot that needs to be sorted, washed, put away and so on. dustin is taking a well-deserved nap on the couch, and i'm enjoying a leisurely reunion with internet access. laundry can wait. (! x 6 | ?)
Sunday, November 23rd, 2008
6:40 pm	rest in peace, grandma messner we got word today that dustin's maternal grandmother died early this morning. i'm sad for dustin and amber, and so sad for dustin's mom, and sad for my boys who will never get to know her except through the stories we'll tell about her. i met her once in 2006, when dustin, séan and i took a trip up to pennsylvania to visit his (very) extended family there. in her honor, i'm reposting what i wrote about her shortly after arriving home. she was really sweet to me, and it's too bad we didn't have more time to learn more about each other. as discovered in my time in pennsylvania near the beginning of the 20th century, a young woman in the puglia (apulia) region of italy married a widower with two daughters. a little while after their wedding, the new husband decided his new family's fortune would be better in america. he packed up his two daughters, and leaving his new bride behind to wait for word to follow him, he set off for america to prepare a place for his family. unfortunately, after he arrived-- and settled in southeastern pennsylvania-- the american government enacted a moratorium on immigration from italy. his bride waited for five long years to follow her husband. they were finally reunited, and their first child together, a girl, was born the following year. this girl, who was blessed at birth with an unfortunate anglicization of a perfectly good italian name by an ignorant doctor, and who would have two siblings follow her in fairly short order, grew into catholic young womanhood, and married a young catholic man of irish descent. down the street from where she was born and raised, the young couple birthed five boys and raised four to adulthood. meanwhile, a couple of towns over, in the pennsylvania countryside, another young woman-- pennsylvania dutch, born and bred-- lived and worked on her family's farm. educated to the eighth grade in a one-room schoolhouse like the rest of her five siblings, she decided that the farming life was not for her. she married a mechanic, and they moved into a huge rambling house on a winding country road. the outbuildings, they turned into a garage for the young man's car repairs, and the main floor of the house, they turned into a general store. they would have eight children together-- the farmer's daughter seemed to fall pregnant very easily, and her husband appreciated the tax deductions. one day, one of the italian-irish catholic boys met one of the mechanic's five daughters in a mcdonald's. they married less than a year later. these were dustin's parents. the funeral is on wednesday. (! x 4 | ?)
Thursday, November 20th, 2008
2:39 pm	first, a fun link. it's a guy. dancing. in many different places. i admit-- i'm a sucker for ordinary people reaching out to their neighbors in extraordinary ways. bonus if it's fun, too. enjoy! second, a psa: we recently decided to switch car insurance companies, and as a result, our monthly premiums went from $168 down to $93. our sticking with progressive for so many years cost us $900 per year. we're now with state farm, who also carries our renter's insurance, and thank goodness, because if they hadn't been on the ball, we would've continued to throw money away with progressive. not that i have any ill will towards progressive-- they were very good to us. but we kinda got complacent, and in our financial situation, with the goals we have, that's not a good thing. the moral of this story? shop around. often. if a ticket or an accident falls off your record, or you get a new car, or you move to a different zip code, find out what kind of rates you can get. i'm probably the last person on the planet to figure this out, but i feel obligated to pass it on. /pedantry (! x 2 | ?)